You not being beside me. brings me ever close to suicide.

I cry my self to sleep.

all i can think of is how scared i am to loose people.

i get head pounds.

but still.

i refuse medication.

Im loosing Hope

Give me a just baby.

and ill show you im here to stay.

That the reason why my feat stay flat on the earth is because of you.

Let me show you i care.

Late me show you my love.

Let me show you.

i look back.

all i can remeber.

is doing the same thing.

wakeing up.

hiding.

skip breakfast.

school.

come home.

cry.

dinner.

cry.

sleep.

So close, but so far.

Woke Up at 1.30pm.

Trying To forget the nightmare i had. my friend walk into my room.

i forgot.

they we were going to the soccer.

and that he was staying the night.

6.00pm 

we were in the car on the way to the trainstation.

everyone was talking

simileing

i was sitting there with my ipod in.

wish i was at home sleeping.

We got on the train.

nothing changed.

my friend was talk to the others.

and i was 7 seats away.

Listening to music.

wish i never came.

7.00pm

we got off the train.

and walked over to the stadium.

when we arrived.

we headed straight to our seats.

during all this my friend asked.

“what are those cuts on your arm”?

I made up a story about how i fell out of a tree.

i new he wasnt convinced.

we got to our seat.

the game start.

this scotish man in front of us kept standing up.

my uncle asked his to sit down.

then he got secruitiy and said we were harrasing him.

anyways.

the man never did.

but we just forgot him.

at half time.

i said to my uncle

“im going to get somthing to eat”

So i did. they thought.

i went striaght to the bathroom.

and stood in one of the cubicals crying my eyes out.

i dryed my eyes.

and went back  to my seat.

i started to cry again.

but i hid inside my t-shirt like a turtle.

so no one could see.

after the game.

we got back on the train.

i sat alone.

crying.

hiding my sadness.

pretending i was asleep.

we got off the station

i we were walking to the car.

i saw one of the last places we were together.

i tryed not to cry.

the same happend in the car on the way home.

when we arrived.

we watch wall-e.

the movie about the little robot.

and him falling in love.

i thought i was laughing through the movie.

but i realised.

there were tears.

i was crying.

my arms are in constent stress cause there not around her.

Well thats what

Wishing a was asleep